My First Juicer Update #2

I wanted to provide an update on owning and utilizing a juicer due to certain feedback emails I have received from readers. Feedback is pleasant and welcomed but the My First Juicer article provoked quite a bit of noise with extremely little signal in my email inbox. The clamour focused on the subject of operating a juicer. I’m going to have to confute and rebut many of the issues raised. Be prepared, this blog entry is not going to be pretty. It will seem too several readers I am trivializing legitimate complaints and concerns with a dismissive and sceptical eye but I believe that people are manufacturing a lot of awfully superficially shallow grumbling.

Difficult To Clean

The most oft repeated objections I’ve heard from readers and people I’ve spoken with is how difficult it is to clean the juicer. I’ve yet to hear from one solitary person who actually cleans their juicer immediately after use. The concept of “cleaning the juicer” is to leave the appliance sat on the kitchen cabinet or languishing in the kitchen sink for several hours to several days and then rinsing the sundry parts under running water from the faucet. This is done with the worthlessly vain hope that the water will by some means magically eliminate the built-up of fruit pulp and varied bacteria in just a scant few seconds.

I don’t desire to deride anyone’s justifiable and legitimate complaints concerning the cleaning of juicers. I am persuaded there are scores of juicers on the market that are deviously tricky to clean but I deem for many of the people complaining as regards to how challenging it is to clean a juicer, they would find it arduous to clean it whatsoever if all that was required of them was to push a button and it miraculously does the job itself.

People employ the “it’s too hard” plea to avoid what they ought to be doing. People employ the “it’s too hard” plea to avoid improving their lives. Nevertheless these same people who use the “it’s too hard” excuse, and it is an excuse, are willing and eager to drive a round trip of 20 miles to purchase an unwholesome and unhealthy froufrou iced coffee drink.

People drive this distance to obtain a drink which does their body no good at all. Their vehicle expels carcinogens in to the environment and squander an exorbitant amount of money on something gratuitously unnecessary all to obtain a drink that slowly poisons them.

I personally think it is perversely hilarious that people won’t spend ten minutes making an extraordinarily healthy juice drink that will do far more good in the long run. People won’t spend ten minutes of their day making a drink that costs less than a cup of fancy ice blended coffee with whipped cream on top from the local Starbucks.

Other than throwing the entire appliance in to the dishwasher – at least the parts that are actually dishwasher safe – I’ve discovered the easiest way to clean the Jack Lalanne Juicer. Clean it with a bottle brush. Bottle brushing makes the clean up superbly swift. It’s a task that occupies minutes at most, even if I neglected to clean the juicer at once, immediately after employing it to make juice.

Bottle brushing takes minutes even if the juicer sat out on the kitchen cabinet for hours because my ADD brain got distracted by a shiny new activity. Two days ago I completely forgot to clean the juicer and I left it with massive amounts of pulp caked on the inside for about 14 hours. I had the whole juicer cleaned off and ready again in less than 8 minutes[1] with just plain hot water and a bottle brush.

The best bottle brush product for cleaning the juicer that I’ve found is the cleaning brush collection sold for de-gunkifying the build up of slimey goo on the pet water fountains. I’m currently using the Drinkwell Pet Fountain Cleaning Kit which costs around ten bucks and can be found at places like PetCo, PetSmart and Target or pretty much anywhere you can buy the pet water fountains. You can also purchase the brush collection directly from Amazon.com too and I won’t even put in a sponsored link so it doesn’t look like I’m shilling. :)

Drinkwell Pet Fountain Cleaning Kit

If you want to buy the brush collection from Amazon.com and feel like giving me something, try a donation instead. I’m not much in to the sponsored links all that much right now. I’d prefer to recommend a product to you because it’s genuinely good and I really like it without incrimination to having an ulterior motive, such as income generation.

If you feel like the recommendation was worth it to you and you want to contribute something to this website, hit the donate button on the sidebar. Hitting that button and entering all of your details is higher friction so I even put roadblocks in the way to prevent you from donating. Which is a good thing, because now your natural laziness will kick in and you’ll procrastinate on donating, muttering something about “I’ll do it once I finish the article” and then you’ll wander off to some other website like Fark or Digg and forget all about that good intention. That’s okay, the good intention was good enough for me and I’ll see you in Hell. :)

The pet fountain bottle brushes are all different sizes and shapes so they can easily get in the little nooks and crannies of the juicer in a couple of minutes. I can clean off the juicer, removing pulp and residue, inside of three minutes under a running tap.

My recommendation is you don’t confuse the bottle brushes you use on the pet water fountain with the bottle brushes you use on the juicer. It makes the juice taste a little… catty.

I’m not sure about other juicers but the Jack Lalanne Juicer that I own is dishwasher safe so how hard can that be to clean? That really is “just push a button” to get the juicer all sparkly and bacteria free. Check the owner’s manual that came with your juicer, I’m sure there will be a section in there on whether the juicer parts are dishwasher safe, and if not, there’s always the bottle brush and hot water.

Juices Are Boring

Another of the familiar complaints is really one of education. I was in this boat too, and I’m only just now navigating through some unfamiliar waters to find out the answers.

The big question is “What do I juice?”

When I first thought about getting a juicer I imagined that I’d be pretty much making orange juice, pomegranate juice and maybe grapefruit juice. And I was in for a shock when I found out what people are willing to put in their juicer.

Two books later and I’m styling with this juicer. I’m drinking fruits and vegetables in combinations I never even contemplated before. My juice fu was very weak at the beginning but it has improved by leaps and bounds in the few short weeks I’ve had the juicer. So go get yourself a couple of books and start browsing for recipes. It’s not that hard people!

The Juicing Book: A Complete Guide to the Juicing of Fruits and Vegetables for Maximum Health

The Juicing Bible

Juice Fasting and Detoxification: Use the Healing Power of Fresh Juice to Feel Young and Look Great: The Fastest Way to Restore Your Health

Ultimate Juicing: Delicious Recipes for Over 125 of the Best Fruit & Vegetables Juice Combinations

Okay, one thing you are going to realise if you get involved with the raw food movement or health food nuts (pun) is that there is a lot of hyperbole and very base marketing[2] involved. If you can get past the “maximum” and “ultimate” and “great” and “fastest” then you’ll be okay, just don’t buy in to it. The books above I personally recommend, not because they are the best, not because I’m being paid to recommend them, not because anybody sold me on them, not because I was sent them for free, but because I personally own them and have tried some, but not all, of the recipes out of the books. So far I have been pleased with the recipes I’ve tried.

You can also find an abundance of recipes and juicing information on the web and all I’m going to do for that is direct you to google.com and give you a key word combination “juicing recipe” that will give you more recipes than you can shake a celery stick at.

Preparation Takes Too Long

The least oft repeated complaint I hear is about peeling and cutting up the fruits and vegetables.

Okay I agree, this complaint has a valid point for certain values of fruit. And certain values of vegetable too.

I think the complaint is heard less often because people are complaining and worrying about cleaning the juicer before they even start to really experiment so never actually get to complain about peeling and cutting because the task never gets that far.

I admit, you do have to peel some foods – pomegranates I’ve found are the worst so far – and you do have to slice up some fruits and vegetables because they just don’t work “as is” in the juicer or blender, but we’re again talking minutes here. A really good sharp knife, a chopping board, a trash bag to dump the skins, seeds or cut off waste in and you’re pretty much set.

I juice at least once per day and between peeling, slicing, juicing and cleaning the juicer afterwards I do that in less time than it takes me to actually drink the juice unless I’m trying to pound the juice back.

The point I’m making is that if you want to improve your mind and body, if you want to be a better person, if you want to grow beyond who you are right now, then it will require expending at least a little effort.

Get out of that rut and stop making excuses for your lack of motivation.

If peeling fruits and vegetables is too much work for you – and remember that not all fruits and vegetables require peeling – then sticking to a gym regime or building wealth or working for yourself is going to be way beyond your capabilities, work ethos and self-discipline quotient.

One of the things I’m realising, and other people have pointed out, is that the Jack Lalanne Juicer that I own, whilst very good, isn’t very versatile. There are just some things you cannot juice in this particular style of juicer, wheatgrass for example – which, personally, will not cause me to worry because I think wheatgrass tastes disgusting – but it is a valid point. It looks like in the not so distant future I am going to have to pick up a second juicer for the kitchen to be able to juice certain other types of food product.

Fresh Food Is Expensive

We have all become conditioned to cheap packaged processed food. On average the cost of food has actually not kept pace with inflation as new factory farming and industrial processing methods have been employed to produce more and more food for us to consume. By some estimates it is claimed that food costs less than 10% of what it did 10 years ago.

This societal conditioning to expect cheap food is only possible if you live on highly processed, pre-packaged food products and really cheap fast food from places like McDonald’s.

I’ve been tracking my food expenses since I started juicing regularly and now that I am purchasing far more fresh fruit and vegetables has decreased my monthly food bill by about 8%. This small decrease I attribute to the fact I purchased a lot of pre-packaged meals from supermarkets such as Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s and Bristol Farms prior to juicing regularly.

Juicers Are Expensive

I’ve heard complaints about juicers costing far too much for what they are. You can pick up second-hand juicers at garage sales and yard sales very easily. I’ve seen them myself. Juicers are one of those kitchen products that a lot of people buy, use once or twice, and then they dispose of the item.

Twenty bucks can get you a top of the line juicer that has been used a handful of times. Before buying my first juicer I would see second-hand juicers all the time at yard sales in my neighbourhood.

What am I saying? I still see second-hand juicers out there at yard sales.

Out there, taunting me with their cheap prices, begging to be taken home like a puppy.

“Look what followed me home! Can I keep him?”

The other option open to you is to purchase a cheaper juicer. If you haven’t juiced anything yet and you aren’t sure if juicing is going to be something that you will integrate in to your life and do on a regular basis, go pick up a cheap juicer for yourself. You don’t need to be spending $300 on a top of the line VitaMix or professional juicer if you haven’t juiced before.

I spent less than a hundred dollars on my Jack Lalanne Juicer at Sears and there were plenty of other juicers I could have picked from in the $40 to $70 range too. I just happened to pick the Jack Lalanne Juicer based on my girlfriend’s opinion of it.

If you do decide to drop $300 on a top of the line juicer and only use it once or twice and then dispose of it, please let me know where and when you’re having the yard sale. I need a new puppy. Er… Juicer.

Juicers Are Too Big

Complaints about the juicer taking up too much space in the kitchen were very apparent. I cannot determine if this is a legitimate complaint from someone with an incredibly small kitchen or that the complainer has way too much counter clutter in their kitchen.

If you have a kitchen appliance such as a toaster, food mixer, food processor, cappuccino machine, coffee maker, juicer or other gadget they will all take up kitchen counter space. But looking at how often each of these appliances will be used will dictate where they should be kept. Kitchen cupboards, storage carts or shelving, or storage closets near the kitchen is where most small kitchen appliances should be kept.

Most of my kitchen appliances are stored away and only brought out for the specific time they are used. You wouldn’t think of giving pride of place in the centre of your living room to your vacuum cleaner so why do that in your kitchen with rarely used appliances. I use my juicer at least once a day, sometimes more, and I use my cappuccino machine twice a day at least, so those items get near permanent counter space in my very small galley style kitchen.

The toaster, the toaster oven, the food processor, the food mixer, the blender, these are items kept on a storage cart or in a nearby storage closet for when they are needed. If you were to review what’s on your kitchen counters I am confident you could find more than ample space for a juicer – or two – if you are going to make juicing a major part of your dietary habits.

One person complained to me that preparing the fruit and vegetables takes up too much space in their kitchen. Okay, you really do have an incredibly small kitchen or too much counter clutter. If it’s a small kitchen, sucks to be you. If you have too much counter clutter, that’s an article for another time.

You Got Stamen Stains All Over My Juice(r)

A lot of readers also have the Jack Lalanne Juicer and whilst many of them are completely satisfied with the juicer a few have complained about carrot juice and pulp staining the juicer. I’m not sure how this is happening. I’ve juiced a lot of carrots through my juicer over the past couple of weeks and there is no carrot or other vegetable stains of any kind on the juicer yet. The only thing I can think of is that people are letting the juicer sit around for the better part of a day with the carrot pulp sat inside the juicer bonding to the plastic somehow.

Juicing Takes Too Long

I’ve heard complaints that juicing takes too much time. From personal experience I think that juicing takes no more time than cooking. Again, long term, repeated conditioning to cheap, instant, give it to me now heavily processed, pre-packaged food products produced in an industrial processing facility has made us all expect to get our food instantly.

The drive through is a few minutes.

Microwaving a Hungry Man dinner is a few minutes.

Toasting some Pop Tarts takes a few minutes.

So few people in America prepare and cook real meals at home anymore that the concept of spending thirty or forty minutes in the kitchen making a meal from scratch using only fresh ingredients without any pre-packaged food products or sauces is a completely alien concept.

Why even have a kitchen in your home if it isn’t going to be used?

Juicing Is Loud

The “juicer is too loud” complaint is the funniest one yet. This really is the epitome of the precious snow flake syndrome to be sure. The motor hum on my juicer is whisper quiet and when actually juicing up food, the blades are barely louder than the fan on the microwave and certainly quieter than the extractor fans on the extractor hood over the stove.

I am sure there are some noisy juicers out there that use burr grinders encased in a metal frame to mash up the food but I cannot imagine we are talking about a jet engine taking off. When I’m juicing I can still plainly hear the pitiful mewling of one of my cats trapped inside the kitchen cabinet where I keep the juicer when it’s not being used.

If You Can’t Stand The Heat…

I know I am being very dismissive when it comes to addressing these complaints, some of them, a very scant few of them, are valid, but mostly I feel the complaints are being made just because. Complaining for the sake of complaining. These complaints are just excuses being dredged up to not do even the barest minimum required to improve.

My recommendation is that if you are contemplating purchasing a juicer or already own a juicer that sits idle that you give using it a serious effort on a daily basis for at least a month. One whole 30 day trial.

Let’s say all you do is juice up oranges and a little pineapple each day in a single 12oz or 16oz juice drink. By my estimates if you already own a juicer the fresh fruit won’t cost you more than $60 for the entire month. The juice is so filling that my girlfriend and I now skip breakfast and just waits for a late afternoon lunch. The juice is breakfast.

Spending extra money on fresh fruit will actually remove other food items from your daily diet so the total cost is actually lower. The actual cost will depend on what kind of foods you normally eat that you replaced with fresh juice.

A pure orange juice in a 16oz glass is the equivalent of consuming two or three very large Navel oranges in one sitting. When was the last time you consumed that many oranges in a single sitting?

So your one month trial didn’t work out? Don’t forget to drop me a note when you’re having that yard sale.


[1] I timed myself because I really wanted to know how long it would take to clean that much caked gunk off.

[2] That’s marketing that involves extravagant claims and superlative words to push the product that probably doesn’t live up to the hype, it’s like using power words on a resume.

Watery Nonsense

The oddest experience for me is discussing different types of bottled water with friends as though the individual types of water were different flavours of soft drink. I’ve seen the episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit! With the couple in the restaurant buying fancy bottles of water from their “water sommelier” and swearing blind they can taste the difference between each bottle based on the story that was told to them before consuming the water.

There exist in this world a breed of people who consider themselves to be water connoisseurs. With no formal training or professional expertise they profess to be able to discern the region of where waters were sourced, what minerals are in the water, and many other characteristics of various bottled waters from around the world. Professional and educated wine tasters have built up a large vocabulary of terminology to describe wines and the water connoisseurs have appropriated much of this vocabulary for their own ends.

I decided that I’d go to a professional for more information and as I come from a large family there is always at least one person somewhere within my network of relations who are trained, teach or practice whatever it is I need to know.

I didn’t have to go far either, I called up my brother Robert who in his career as a professor of restaurant studies at Clarendon College in England has taught restaurant techniques all over the world, is a professional wine taster and has had extensive experience with sourcing and tasting wines and waters for various restaurants throughout England and Wales.

I asked Robert to give me the 101 info dump on water tasting, some of the terminology used and what are the controversies with water tasting. Inside of 20 minutes of questioning I pretty much was of the same opinion as he was which I’ll get to in a minute.

Terroir, minerality, sparkle, effervescence, mouthfeel (love that one), texture, boldness, crispness and many others are all used to describe the supposed myriad characteristics of bottled waters, especially mineral waters, both carbonated and still.

Terroir, a French loanword that allegedly means the unique characteristics of a region imparted to wine. This terminology has also been borrowed by the water crowd to describe the same thing in sparkling waters or waters extracted from natural aquifiers. Now here’s a thing, in wine tasting circles there is no one absolute definition of terroir. When a group of experts and professionals are unable to universally agree on the definition of a word you can basically exchange whatever someone else thinks the word means with “reading the entrails of animals.” If you cannot objectively measure it your opinion amounts to nothing more than flimflam and bullshit.

The most amusing activity of water connoisseurs I was informed about was the need to let the bottled water breathe. When you first open a bottle of water it needs to stand on the table for up to 20 minutes so that it can aerate to develop a full flavour and body.

I’ve got news for you, water is not volatile; it doesn’t react with the surface air over such a small area of the neck of the bottle preventing any significant breathing from taking place.

I think all this terminology about the characteristics of bottled water is just plain (not sparkling or still) nonsense, I am of the opinion that most people cannot actually taste the difference between various bottled waters. However, after you have cleaned your palate of all the artificially produced junk food you put in your mouth and drunk a reasonably good brand of bottled water for a period of time you’d swear blind you can.

And this idea to do a blind taste test has been percolating in my head for at least three years, ever since I made the switch from soda to mineral water in fact.

I measure and test pretty much everything in my life once I become consciously aware enough to ask a question about it – and I have a lot of questions – so I decided to put my money where my mouth is in a blind taste test of bottled waters.

The test protocol and taste test was presided over by my Director of Business Development who happens to have the better part of two decades conducting such professional taste tests in large market research companies so you can be sure it was a reasonably thorough test.

The goal of the taste test was to see if I, who have tasted a lot of waters to find the ones I like, could identify individual bottled waters, could correctly identify a group of waters and place the glass of water with the correct brand, and whether I could match up identical waters together.

We tested two groups of water separately, sparkling and still. Here are the waters that were tested in no particular order:

Still Waters

  1. Arrowhead Mountain Spring Water
  2. Dasani Purified Water
  3. Aquafina Pure Water
  4. Fiji Natural Artesian Water
  5. Bristol Farms Drinking Water
  6. Evian Natural Spring Water
  7. Tap water run through a filter installed in the refrigerator
  8. Tap water that has not been filtered

Sparkling Waters

  1. Perrier Sparkling Mineral Water
  2. San Pellegrino Sparkling Mineral Water
  3. Arrowhead Sparkling Mountain Spring
  4. Crystal Geyser Sparkling Water

All of the waters were taste tested at room temperature and two people took the test, my girlfriend and me.

My girlfriend isn’t a “water aficionado,” she likes drinking Fiji but will drink just about any bottled water, “whatever’s available” in her own words.

Okay so let’s get to the first taste test. My girlfriend did the first test. She was unable to identify a single still water or tell any of them apart. She was unable to pick out the Fiji water, her self-professed favourite, from a field of eight different still waters. She was also unable to identify the Fiji water when the number of options was reduced to three.

Her answers were randomly scattered enough that they amounted to no better than blind guessing. She incorrectly identified two waters (Dasani and Aquafina) as duplicates of each other in one of the tests. She identified the tap water and filtered tap water as the budget brand water (Dasani and Bristol Farms) and identified two of the higher end brands (Fiji and Evian) as the tap water.

The sparkling test was halted and the results thrown away after she stated that she couldn’t tell the difference between any of the four brands that she tried.

When I did the taste test I was unable to identify any of the still waters uniquely. Again, the results of my attempt at the test were no better than random chance. I was unable to correctly identify even a single individual water. I misidentified at least three of the still waters as duplicates of each other in two separate tests.

When I visit a restaurant I order a Perrier to drink. If I am informed by the waiter that Perrier isn’t available but they have San Pellegrino or VOS I wrinkle my nose a little and then reluctantly order one of the alternatives.

Oh damn! I’ve become a water snob!

In the sparkling water test I performed marginally better. I was able to distinguish between the Perrier and the San Pellegrino 66% of the time. I was able to distinguish between San Pellegrino and Crystal Geyser 66% of the time. But I was unable to distinguish between San Pellegrino and Arrowhead Sparkling Mineral Water. I was also unable to correctly distinguish between any of the sparkling waters when testing three different waters.

I am sure that there are professional tasters who can distinguish between individual waters but for the average man in the street, myself included, our taste buds just aren’t up to the task no matter how cleansed and discerning we think we’ve become.

I know these tests were conducted with a very small population sample but the tests were rigorous and professional. We had saltine crackers and everything! What I found amusing was the ninth type of still water on hand to drink in between each sip of test water to clean out the palate. I’m an accomplished amateur wine taster and can also identify the region that a particular coffee was grown in. My taste buds are in top notch form.

The bottle, the colour, the shape, the brand, the name, it all alters the perception of how the water tastes or should taste. Everything about a bottle of mineral water, from the design of the label to the hiss that the carbon makes when escaping the bottle is geared to changing your perception.

If you would like to perform these taste tests yourself and want the protocol we devised please contact me, I’d be happy to send it to you so long as you agree to share your results. I’ll update this article with any new results sent in by readers so that we can keep track of them.

Ice Made of Tap Water

Putting ice made of tap water, filtered or not, in your glass of carefully selected bottled water? You fool! Don’t you know your adulterating your expensive bottled water with that dirty, common municipal water!? Your glass of expensive bubbly will lose the mouthfeel and boldness you’ve come to so expect.

Yeah, okay, so let’s return to reality for a second and just say that your expensive bottled water would need to be served steaming hot and poured over an entire glass of ice for the ice to contaminate the water in any way. Here, I’ll prove it:

I measured the melt rate of ice under various conditions – no water, refrigerator chilled bottled water (20 degrees Celsius), room temperature bottled water (74 degrees Celsius), boiling bottled water – by performing a couple of kitchen-based scientific experiments.

All of the glasses were of uniform size, shape and temperature. The glasses held 300 millilitres (approximately 10 fluid ounces) of water to the lip. I filled each glass with precisely six ice cubes of uniform shape and size. The total amount of ice in each equated to precisely 90 millilitres (approximately 3 fluid ounces). I weighed each ice cube to ensure that they were within 1% of each other. I filled each glass with precisely the same amount of water from the exact same bottle. I performed the experiment twice, once with Dasani Purified Water and again with Evian Natural Artesian Water.

I ensured that the room remained at a uniform temperature throughout the experiment and placed the glasses on an insulated neoprene pad to prevent the temperature take up of the work surface from affecting the experiment.

I measured the time from when the ice cubes entered the glass to when the ice cubes completely melted away, i.e. completely melted in to the surrounding liquid.

I also measured the rate at which ice cubes melted under the various conditions by creating glasses of iced water under identical conditions to each other and every minute pouring away the water and weighing the ice and then letting the ice melt completely in to a brand new glass and accurately measuring the quantity of water remaining.

My conclusions based on all this circumstantial evidence is that room temperature water served over ice made from plain old tap water rather than ridiculously expensive premium ice (and you thought that bottled water was overpriced, you ain’t seen the prices on premium ice) and then delicately sipped will not alter the flavour of the water in any discernible way that matters.

Assuming that it takes five minutes to consume the 175 millilitres (approximately 6 fluid ounces) of room temperature bottled water occupying the glass the average contamination from the ice will be approximately 1.4% of the ice or 1.3 millilitres (approximately 0.044 of a fluid ounce).

With the chilled bottled water the evaporation rate of the ice was much lower and in that same five minute window the contamination in to the water from the ice will be approximately 0.9% of the ice or 0.79 millilitres (approximately 0.027 of a fluid ounce).

By the time you have delicately sipped away the water in a glass with ice and room temperature water the amount of water evaporated away from the surface of the ice cubes isn’t enough to “contaminate” your precious drinky poo. The tap water that the ice was made from would have to be heavily contaminated or the filtration system polluted for it to adversely affect your initial glass of water.

Pouring more water in to the glass after the initial glass has been drunk will of course introduce more tap water from the melted ice.

If you’ve drunk bottled water over ice and thought the ice might have altered the taste, try looking for soap residue on the glass first.

I doubt that anyone not trained in determining the various subtle characteristics of bottled waters could accurately distinguish between them. Anything discussed about bottled waters by pretty much anyone can safely be placed in to the same snake oil that is promoted by audiophiles.

My only response to all this water logged nonsense is if you drink bottled water, which brand you prefer, and I have a preference for Perrier water, that you enjoy your particular tipple to the fullest without worrying about nose, boldness or mouthfeel.

Revel in your choice of bottled water.

Just don’t believe the hyperbole and the bullshit.